An Open Letter

This is an open letter to all the amateur poets, songwriters and movie directors; and well also the cable news networks.

STOP!

Don’t feel the need to email me (and a couple of hundred/thousand other Democrats) your poems about Senator Obama, or your songs about Hillary.  They’re dreadful, simply terrible.   And why CNN and others feel the need to punish ups by showing them is beyond me.  Nobody needs to hear a middle aged man calling himself “Kid Brooklyn” yelling for a minute and a half about how he should be vice president.

So in conclusion, please I beg of you, feel free to keep your hidden “talents” hidden and to yourself.  We’ll both be happier in the long run.

Your,

Hank

Why Do I Blog?

Tim from Dayton posed a question that aside from his misplaced smugness, is all the same a worthwhile question; why do I blog? Is it for attention? Is it because I think I can make a living at it? What’s the deal?

No, it isn’t for attention; in fact if this blog were to become popular or in any way compromise who I am it would disappear, immediately. I don’t have the time or inclination to make this my primary purpose in life; and I cannot allow it to take over the rest of my life. As for blogging for a living; it just doesn’t strike me something I’d enjoy, I wasn’t built for deadlines.

Then why? Because its a good pressure release; and its good practice. I can anonymously rant and rave about things (and occasionally argue with the delusional like Tim from Dayton, who assumes he has all the answers to questions nobody’s asking) that bug me, and practice my critical writing at the same time. Churning out the same type of writing and arguments dulls your skills after while; its good to jump head first into a matter you don’t normally discuss. Its cathartic, and it really helps sharpen one’s skills. I can see that in the course of the arguments I made, they started out poorly and got better as it went on. The point wasn’t to be right, it was to be better.

So no Tim from Dayton, I don’t care if I get a lot of traffic, and I didn’t link to a post in hopes of getting traffic. I haven’t yet submitted a link to deadspin, and probably never will. As long as huckleberrys like you happen I don’t need to. I know that isn’t the answer you want, you so desperately want to think you’re better then me, but I can’t help you out here.

But hey, I still have a crappy banner, so you win. Try not to spend all that newfound pride in one place.

More About Globex

The Globex Corporation is known for its casual, laid-back work environment and its achievements in the field of world domination.  The Globex corporate campus is located in Cypress Creek, an idyllic planned community designed for the workers of the Globex Corporation. 

“Cypress Creek — Where Dreams Come True.”
(Your dreams may vary from those of Globex Corporation, its subsidiaries and shareholders.) 

Located at the Cypress Creek facility are Globex Corp’s nuclear energy, weather control, and germ warfare divisions. The engineers in these departments work together synergistically on a variety of projects such as the development of doomsday devices.  Thanks to the successful completion of Project Arcturus, Globex Corp’s most ambitious business venture to date, the Eastern Seaboard of the United States is now under the absolute control of Globex CEO Hank Scorpio.

One of the Globex Corporation’s newest acquisitions is the C-Spanker. Formerly the U.S.S. Sea Spanker, this decommissioned aircraft carrier was once used by the U.S. Navy to destroy the offices of Mad Magazine.  The largest ship in the Globex fleet, the C-Spanker is now used to transport high-tech equipment, vehicles, and personnel to Globex facilities all over the world.

The Globex Corporation:
We Dominate Because We Care.

Welcome to Cyprus Creek

Ok, I’m going to try and not go Simpson’s geek overboard here. But just indulge me a bit won’t you?