DirecTV the National Leader in Bullshit HD Hype

Never has a company promised more and delivered less then DirecTV in 2008.  With the launch of D11 we were promised 150 HD channels; well we’re at 134 right now; but they’ve gotten there with PPV.  They announced in 2007 that PBS HD would be added in 2008, here we are only about 15 weeks left and absolutely no sign of PBS HD being added (none of the local PBS facilities have been contacted by DirecTV) and only promises of “soon” from DirecTV.

It’s a good product, I’m not complaining that DirecTV’s HD offering is light, but that the hype their PR department uses is absolute outright lies; nothing but pure bullshit.  When you use filler channels like regional sports channels (most of which have no content) and PPVs (often duplicates showing the same movie) you’re gaming the system in claiming 134 HD channels.  And if you have no plans on adding a channel in a given year don’t fucking make the announcement the year  before; is it really that hard to not be full of shit?

Do The Cubs Know It Isn’t Best Of 15?

No.

Really Late Movie Review: Man of the Year

So I somehow ended up watching Man of the Year yesterday (DSL wasn’t working, I think I’ve said enough about my feelings re: Verizon already) and felt the urge to write about it.  Not to defend the movie; while the first part is an ok political comedy the second section is a shitty political thriller.  No, I felt urged to do what is these days unthinkable; to defend Robin Williams.

Somewhere along the line Robin Williams has become a caricature, when we think of him all that comes to mind is an overly emoted Patch Adams meets Mork.  And in some movies this is true.  But not Man of the Year, while very few parts of this film felt right, his portrayal seemed subdued and as close to realistic as the idea of Robin Williams winning a presidential election could be.  Barry Levinson is to blame for this piece of shit movie; but for once Robin Williams might have been the best thing about it. *

*After Laura Linney.

I’m Pretty Sure Jesus Wouldn’t Do This

A 15 year old girl was tied to a van and dragged behind it after she stopped jogging at a Christian boot camp.  The camp is run by what I think might be the most ironically named entity ever, Love Demonstrated Ministries, and is part of the San Antonio Young Offender program.

Well she probably won’t ever end up breaking the law again, after all the lawsuits are settled she’ll be too busy spending her millions.

For What It’s Worth

Just as a cold snap doesn’t disprove the theories behind global warming, a heat wave doesn’t really prove them either.  But you don’t seem to hear as much from the doubters this time of year do you?

I Knew the Tour Had Fallen on Hard Times

All this guy got for winning was a stuffed lion? Has the Tour de France become a carnival game?

He Didn’t Quite Make it to Cambodia

Spalding Gray led a surreal existence, Swimming to Cambodia and Monster in the Box are prime examples of that.  Its not every person who finds themselves in Southeast Asia recreating the Khmer Rouge for The Killing Fields, or traveling to Nicaragua to witness the  atrocities there, or even appear as The Stage Manager in Our Town.   That he’s best known for his monologues as performance art is a testament to the strange blend of art, psychosis, and genius that was Spalding Gray.  This was a brilliant if troubled artist.

So it doesn’t seem that unusual to read of the grisly discover of his body in Esquire.   As his wife put it “All he ever talked about was his own death.”  He was obsessed with his own death, and that of his mother’s suicide; and I don’t think anybody familiar with his work was terribly surprised when he went missing; or when his body was found.  While his loss was a tragedy, this article seems an almost poetic end to his story.

Note to Verizon

Fuck off and die.  I’ve had it with your inept tech support, there is no reason after 6 calls over 7 days that you can’t at bare minimum acknowledge that there is an actual problem with my DSL.  Especially the dickless wonder who told me my DSL connection was perfect.  Does the word “intermittent” not have any fucking meaning you shit for brains basement dwellers?

So on Monday I’m gonna call the cable company; you don’t want to fix my DSL, I don’t want to pay for your fucking worthless service.

So go to hell.

P.S. I can’t even post this because MY FUCKING DSL IS DOWN AGAIN!

This Isn’t Funny; Except For The Part That Is

Sexual assault isn’t funny and in no way am I poking light at it.  But I’m not above making fun of poor news copy: Chewbacca, whose real name was not available, fled before police arrived, Torres said.

Really?   Next thing you’ll tell me the police aren’t handing out fliers with the picture of a large fictional space creature covered with hair.

My Review of the Finale of The Sopranos

WTF?