An Open Letter

This is an open letter to all the amateur poets, songwriters and movie directors; and well also the cable news networks.

STOP!

Don’t feel the need to email me (and a couple of hundred/thousand other Democrats) your poems about Senator Obama, or your songs about Hillary.  They’re dreadful, simply terrible.   And why CNN and others feel the need to punish ups by showing them is beyond me.  Nobody needs to hear a middle aged man calling himself “Kid Brooklyn” yelling for a minute and a half about how he should be vice president.

So in conclusion, please I beg of you, feel free to keep your hidden “talents” hidden and to yourself.  We’ll both be happier in the long run.

Your,

Hank

Status Check

Cubs swept?  Check

Hamilton blown the world championship?  Check

Cowboys ran over by the Patriots?  Check

Absolutely no idea what’s going on in this election?  Check

At least Layer Cake was brilliant.  Yeah, I just finally got around to seeing Layer Cake.

A Note To Whom It Won’t Concern

Not that anybody actually read this, but if you happen upon it by mistake and wonder, no there won’t be many updates between now and the middle of November. There’s an election coming up that’s taking too much time.

My guess is there will be two more F1 posts and that’s about it for the next month and a half or so.

So my apologizes for making you accidentally stumble upon a blog that’s on life support.

A Note from the Human Resources Department of the Globex Corporation

The Globex Corporation is pleased to announce the opening of the position of fanboy for Mr. Scorpio. This individual will work closely with Mr. Scorpio to help maintain his image, and promote his internet endeavors.

Duties will include:

• Relentlessly submiting Mr. Scorpio’s ramblings to the editors of deadspin.com. It is the only way to validate Mr. Scorpio’s existence.
• Oversee the banner project. It has become a top priority at the Globex Corporation to procure a banner; price is no object.
• Becoming inarticulate and lash out at other bloggers who disagree with Mr. Scorpio. Advanced skill in ad hominem attacks are a must.
• Maintain LJ’s wine inventory and intercept any errant wine boxes thrown in the direction of Mr. Scorpio.

Interested parties should send a resume and goals for world domination to the HR Department immediately. As Mr. Scorpio is a Cubs fan he’s willing to spend any amount to buy a championship caliber fanboy.

Hank Picks the Winners (Or How I Make a Fool of Myself)

Well if I’ve learned one thing this week its this; nothing drives people away from a blog faster then talking about open wheel racing. I think LJ only slogged through because of the pictures. Oh well, I like open wheel racing, and this site is more about entertaining myself then it is entertaining you.

So now that you’ve seen the 13 drivers with the best odds of winning two of the biggest sporting events in the world, its time to make my picks for the winners. And lets face it, the odds aren’t in my favor.

Indianapolis 500 I think Danica, Tony Kanaan, and Sam Hornish Jr all have great chances at picking up the win, but I think this is the year that Helio Castroneves gets his third. The odds of a team (Penkse) having back to back wins from the pole are admittedly slim, but those things mean less when you’re talking about an outfit like Penske. He has the talent, the temperament, and the equipment to win.

Monaco Grand Prix I really wanted to pick Lewis Hamilton and his perfect record at Monaco, but this week he is the first time he’s looked like a rookie. He has really gotten caught up in the sideshow that is Monte Carlo, and has really been pushing his car to the limits, two things that don’t combine for a good result. Meanwhile his teammate Fernando Alonso has been having a great, if quiet, week. McLaren traditionally does well at Monaco, and Ferrari is seemingly not keeping pace. While Ferrari will undoubtedly close in it would appear to be Alonso’s race to lose.

So on Sunday we’ll see how I am at this prognosticating.

The Week in Hank

Hank made a fool of himself on LJ’s blog.  5 times in one week.

Hank got another year older.

This Week in Hank

Hank finds out that Sen Obama could be a cousin.

Hank is reminded he doesn’t live among the “best and brightest.”

Hank overused the LJ tag.

Hank becomes confused when he finds out Jebus’ birthday is in early May.

This Week in Hank

Globex became sentient.

Hank pissed off LJ, again.

Hank discovered the wonderment of Hot Chicks with Douchbags.

Hank got dumped by his FIG. It happens.  Reversed on appeal.

In real life Hank experienced his own version of the Watergate break-in, and got permission to go all Vic Mackey. F-ing eh!

So it goes.

Welcome to Cyprus Creek

Ok, I’m going to try and not go Simpson’s geek overboard here. But just indulge me a bit won’t you?