A Note from the Human Resources Department of the Globex Corporation

The Globex Corporation is pleased to announce the opening of the position of fanboy for Mr. Scorpio. This individual will work closely with Mr. Scorpio to help maintain his image, and promote his internet endeavors.

Duties will include:

• Relentlessly submiting Mr. Scorpio’s ramblings to the editors of deadspin.com. It is the only way to validate Mr. Scorpio’s existence.
• Oversee the banner project. It has become a top priority at the Globex Corporation to procure a banner; price is no object.
• Becoming inarticulate and lash out at other bloggers who disagree with Mr. Scorpio. Advanced skill in ad hominem attacks are a must.
• Maintain LJ’s wine inventory and intercept any errant wine boxes thrown in the direction of Mr. Scorpio.

Interested parties should send a resume and goals for world domination to the HR Department immediately. As Mr. Scorpio is a Cubs fan he’s willing to spend any amount to buy a championship caliber fanboy.

It Just Isn’t America’s Year in F1

First the US Grand Prix goes they way of the dodo bird because Bernie has never met an opportunity to fleece somebody that he didn’t take; now the only American driver, Scott Speed, has been removed from his seat immediately.

Who is Scott Speed, and what is Toro Rosso? Well Speed is a 24 year old Californian who won a competition held by Red Bull and open only to Americans to fill a seat in one of its 4 (more on this in a second) cars. He’s ran mostly in European development series, which is why he’s so little known in the US; and why he never achieved the marketing goals that were really behind Red Bull hiring him in the first place.

Toro Rosso is a privateer team that is an offshoot of Red Bull racing. From a marketing standpoint its an excuse to have 4 cars with Red Bull on them. From a competition standpoint its kind of like the Arizona Cardinals owning an expansion team, and having the front office run both teams. Mark Weber had a podium finish at the last race and he seemed more surprised then anybody about it.

So what this mean for F1 in the US? Nothing. Hardcore fans follow the teams they’ve always followed, Speed was a side show and won’t sway anybody’s love of the sport. With most races coming on at 6 in the morning there aren’t a lot of casual fans, so it will remain a niche sport. But one without an American.

Note: LJ tag?  She raced for 6 years with Williams before she was fired for slapping around Patrick Head.

My Generation’s Vincent Bugliosi

Well not really, but Jose Canseco seems to have found himself a second career as a crime writer. While it remains to be seen how many books he can churn out of steroids abuse in baseball, it is becoming apparent that what he knows and says is far more credible then any one would have believed just two years ago. And given that his latest target is A-Rod, a player who isn’t really a contemporary; its raises the question of who and how he is getting his information? Is he being feed this from current players, or officials? And to what end, I doubt very much anyone is concerned with Canseco’s financial security; so is this a case of getting even, or of exposing baseball’s misdeeds to the world? Probably a little of both.

Note: LJ tag? She’s a world renowned crime writer under her pseudonym…

Yeah that’s the Problem

Apparently the problem is there aren’t enough weapons in the Middle East.  Enough high tech smart bombs that is.  And its worked so well in the past; look at what great friends we are with Iran!  And I’m only 90% sure Saudi Arabia will turn over all their tech to extremist, so there’s a 10% chance there’s nothing to worry about.

P.S.  LJ tag?  She’s the leading Middle East militarization expert in Florida.

Dirty Harry: Michael Mann Edition

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire seven hundred shots or only six hundred and ninety five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Is that Robert Plant?  Wait I think that’s Ship of Fools, it is.

Its the Barry Williams (B-Bunch) Show

If the reality craze hasn’t already jumped the shark (or Darva Conger) then this may well seal it. I can appreciate that the internet and the low cost of digital equipment are a great way to reach out to voters; but is showing staffer live from Dodd HQ really reaching out? Is showing President Clinton ordering a chicken sandwich at Dairy Queen? If at this point you don’t get that this isn’t Bill’s (and therefore probably Hillary’s) first time at a DQ, you just haven’t been paying attention. But isn’t that the problem with “reality” TV; that’s its as scripted as anything else?

The beauty of internet video for candidates is the ability to cut through 30 second sound bites, to take their message unedited straight to the viewer/voter. But what good is it if you self impose the rules? Bill and Hillary at DQ is nothing but packaging; at least Dodd offers his speeches. Not that its really much of an improvement, while he’s offering substance, he misses the opportunity afforded him to discuss issues in a more personal and direct manner; one that is more likely to connect with a viewer then seeing footage of a speech he gave in Des Moines.

The genius of the fireside chat was that FDR forsake the stentorian style common among politicians and spoke to the listeners as if they were having a conversation with him by the fire, instead of hearing him on the radio. It made the speeches more authentic, heartfelt, and sincere; and far more effective. The candidate that creates the “fireside chat for the 21st century” (and Sen. Obama’s podcasts come close, if only they were more then an occasional offering) will have an advantage over their opponents.

Note: For anybody curious about the title it comes from a Peter Gabriel song off the album Up released in 2002. Which now earns this post a LJ tag.

Thelonius Monk: Jazz’s Mad Genius

This blog is nothing if not eclectic, and I really don’t see that changing anytime soon. It’s only theme is things I’m interested in, and that’s pretty wide field. So to continue in that veine today I thought I’d write about one of my favorite subjects; Jazz, and one of my favorite musicians Thelonius Monk.

Monk was quite literally the mad genius of Jazz; his son T.S. Monk has said he was hospitalized on several occasions; though no official diagnosis was ever made public it has been speculated that he was schizophrenic. But none the less he was a genius, one of the most gifted pianist ever and a man credited as a father of bebop and hard bop. If cool jazz was the more straight forward presentation of music that favored technical style over improvisation; bop was all about improvisation and complexity, and few were better then Monk. An early example, and one his best know pieces is Epistrophy.

Even by the standards of bebop Epistrophy is a complex song; and one of the great examples of what made Monk a under-appreciated musician. It was the complexity of his work caused causal fans to turn away from him and toward Cool Jazz, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time. At the same time that his music wasn’t selling well he lost his “cabaret card” a license to play in alcohol serving establishments for his unwillingness to testify against Bud Powell, who arrested in August of 1951 for narcotics possession. The loss of the card forced Monk out of the fruitful New York club scene into theaters and out of town clubs.

In 1954 Monk was signed to Riverside who bought out his contract from Prestige for $100. It was Riverside that began to move Monk away from bebop towards hard bop; first by convincing Monk to cover Duke Ellington’s work on Thelonious Monk Plays Duke Ellington. While regarded as one of Monk’s weaker works, it none the less introduced him to a larger audience, and began to change how Monk viewed his playing.

Around the time of his success with Monk Play Ellington he had his cabaret card restored and was able to begin working the New York clubs, and with one of the most important quartets in history. John Coltrane spent much of the 1950s battling his heroin addiction, and had lost his seat with Miles Davis due to his “unreliability” but by 1957 he had beaten his addiction and was looking for work. Monk and Coltrane played together for 9 months during 1957, before rejoining Davis at the beginning of 1958. But it was during those 9 months that Monk cemented his move into hard bop, exemplified by the blues influence of ‘Round Midnight and Blue Monk.

By the 1960s Monk had signed with Columbia and appeared on the cover of Time magazing, but creatively he was beginning to slow down, producing fewer original works; and beginning to become more erratic in his behavior. By the 1970 he had retired into seclusion and would die in 1982 of a stroke. Only after his death was an honest assessment of his work done, and he was recognized as one the top jazz musicians ever.

Do You Not Get How This Works?

Well if anything has come from Paris Hilton’s time in jail its that she’s catching up on her interviews.  Though I’m not sure if she’s really going to get much more from it considering this quote:

“I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won’t even let me do that,” she said. “I’m not a criminal, I’m not dangerous. … It’s hard but I’m stronger every day.”

Yes, yes you are; why else would be in prison?  Do you not get that?

Whole Lotta Love

So over at LJ’s blog a few of are shareing our favorite music to get our groove on.  It promises to be entertaining, if nothing else.

Hank Picks the Winners (Or How I Make a Fool of Myself)

Well if I’ve learned one thing this week its this; nothing drives people away from a blog faster then talking about open wheel racing. I think LJ only slogged through because of the pictures. Oh well, I like open wheel racing, and this site is more about entertaining myself then it is entertaining you.

So now that you’ve seen the 13 drivers with the best odds of winning two of the biggest sporting events in the world, its time to make my picks for the winners. And lets face it, the odds aren’t in my favor.

Indianapolis 500 I think Danica, Tony Kanaan, and Sam Hornish Jr all have great chances at picking up the win, but I think this is the year that Helio Castroneves gets his third. The odds of a team (Penkse) having back to back wins from the pole are admittedly slim, but those things mean less when you’re talking about an outfit like Penske. He has the talent, the temperament, and the equipment to win.

Monaco Grand Prix I really wanted to pick Lewis Hamilton and his perfect record at Monaco, but this week he is the first time he’s looked like a rookie. He has really gotten caught up in the sideshow that is Monte Carlo, and has really been pushing his car to the limits, two things that don’t combine for a good result. Meanwhile his teammate Fernando Alonso has been having a great, if quiet, week. McLaren traditionally does well at Monaco, and Ferrari is seemingly not keeping pace. While Ferrari will undoubtedly close in it would appear to be Alonso’s race to lose.

So on Sunday we’ll see how I am at this prognosticating.